Ever since I started involving myself pretty intensely in school activities, people have been asking me about my relationship issues alot.

It’s like the topic is almost unavoidable, it’s always at the top of my peers’ heads. The question pops out inevitably. And I just can’t answer them.

I don’t know if I am really looking for a relationship.

I don’t know if I can still find the strength to really fall in love again.

I do know, nonetheless, that I do want to find somebody that can look me in the eye and strike fear in me, like the first time I look into the eyes of a girl I once loved and feared. It’s almost as if I looked into her, and saw her soul, and saw who she really was, somebody who had feelings and emotions and needs and wants the way that I did. And that frightens me.

And it is that fear that I’m looking for.

Sadly, I don’t know if I will ever be afraid anymore.


Because it has really been a long long time since I last tasted love.